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Retirement Sayings, Retirement Gifts,
Retirement Poems, and Retirement Quotes
(for Your Retirement Speeches and Retirement Parties)
Note: Also See The Retirement Quotes Cafe
for More Retirement Quotations
Brought to you by the author of:
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How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
Over 400,000 Copies Sold
Published in 9 Foreign Languages
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Retirement Sayings and Quotes
Don't wait for retirement to be happy and really start living. Invariably, people who try this find out that they have waited much too long.
— from Life's Secret Guide to Happiness
I’m now as free as the breeze — with roughly the same income.
— Unknown wise person
One of the best hearing aids a [retired] man can have is an attentive wife.
— Groucho Marx
Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
Definitions of Retirement
Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working
at living.
— Unknown retired person
Retirement: The time in your life when time is no longer money.
— Unknown person in retirement
Retirement Poem
An elegant sufficiency, content,
Retirement, rural quiet, friendship, books,
Ease and alternate labour, useful life,
Progressive virtue, and approving Heaven!
— James Thomson, 1700-1748, Spring
Retirement Sayings from the Sensational
Retirement Quotes for Smart People Webpage
Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.
— Unknown wise person
I'm retired — I'm not dead!
— Unknown wise person
The Newest Retirement Quotes and
Retirement Sayings on This Webpage
I have retired, un retired, and retired again all in the past 10 years.
I find the biggest trouble with having NOTHING to do is . . . you
can't tell when your done
— Unknown wise person
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about
getting caught at it.
— Gene Perret
I retired early for health reasons — my company was sick of me and
I was sick of them.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial.
— Seneca
Some of the More Recent Retirement Quotes and
Retirement Sayings on This Webpage
Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does.
— Unknown wise person
Heaven, that’s my retirement plan.
— Unknown retired wise person
In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Gift #1
For Those Who Absolutely, Positively Want to Read
The Best Retirement Book in the World
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How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
Retirement Wisdom You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor
by Ernie J. Zelinski
Purchase at:
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and fine bookstores throughout the world |
Retirement Sayings and Retirement Qutoes
for Retirement Speeches
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.
— Unknown wise person
More Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
for Retirement Speeches
I’m retired. You on the other hand have to go to work.
— Unknown wise person
The money’s no better in retirement but the hours are!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Poem
Don’t you stay at home of evenings?
Don’t you love a cushioned seat
In a corner, by the fireside, with your slippers on your feet?
— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
One of the Longer Retirement Quotes or Retirement Sayings
on This Webpage
It's All in How You Play the Game, Isn't It?
Let's see now. How will I know when I am a senior.
Hmmmmmmm.....
Some places give me a senior's discount at 55, some at 60 and some
at 65.
My government pension will be sent to me when I am 65.
My company will arbitrarily retire me at 65. (I'm going to beat them
to the punch and retire at 60.)
So that means that parts of our society think 'senior' begins at 55.
How will I personally know?
Well, with a little bit of luck, I don't think I'll ever know.
It's all in how you play the game, isn't it?
— Unknown Wise Person's Submission to a Senior's Website
Retirement Quotes
A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell 'em
to get a life.
— Larry Laser
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
— Jonathan Clements
Retirement Poem
Fear no more the heat o’ th’ sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages.
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone and ta’en thy wages.
— William Shakespeare
F R E E E - B O O K !
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about RETIREMENT
120 Pages of Retirement Quotes
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Retirement Sayings for Retirement Speeches
When you see some people work you wonder what they’ll do in retirement.
— Unknown wise person
He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Planning Made Easy
The Latest Letter from a Reader about
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
This letter comes from Blake Wheaton who wrote to me in March 2006 from Burleigh Waters, Queensland, Australia.
Dear Ernie.
I enjoyed reading "The Joy of Not Working" and "How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free." Both have been important books for me. I'm 55 and have worked continuously since I was 11 delivering The Montreal Gazette before 7 a.m. I have lived in Queensland for 31 years and have taught high-school science all that time. Your focus on "purpose" has hit home. I still find purpose in teaching but have decided to cut back to part-time to free up time (especially weekends). Thanks for helping me arrive at that decision - your books have been almost like a sounding board and I'll read them again.
Thanks again.
Yours,
Blake Wheaton
Retirement Jokes
Retirement Joke #1
What does a government retiree miss most about not having a job?
Not being able to call in sick two or three times a month.
Retirement Joke # 2
s
How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it will take him two or three days to complete the job.
Retirement Joke #3
What do you call a worker who is of retirement age, hates his job, and refuses to retire?
Flat broke!
Retirement Joke #4
When is it a retiree's bedtime?
Two hours after he falls asleep on the sofa.
Retirement Joke #5
What do retirees call a long lunch?
A short lunch.
Retirement Joke #6
What is the typical retiree's greatest frustration?
Not being able to complete all the things he had planned to do that don't need to get done in the first place.
Retirement Joke #7
What is the typical government retiree's idea of intense physical exercise?
A good brisk sit!
Sa
More Retirement Sayings, Retirement Quotes, Etc.
(Retirement Poems for Retirement Speeches)
Retired is being twice tired, I've thought
First tired of working,
Then tired of not.
— Richard Armour
Learn to live well, or fairly make your will;
You’ve played, and loved, and ate, and drunk your fill:
Walk sober off; before a sprightlier age
Comes tittering on, and shoves you from the stage:
Leave such to trifle with more grace and ease,
Whom Folly pleases, and whose Follies please.
— Alexander Pope (1688–1744), English satirical poet.
More Retirement Quotes and Retirement Sayings
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
— Abe Lemons
There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.
— Robert Half
More General Retirement Quotes and
Retirement Sayings
A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.
— Harry Mahtar
I really stay busy [in retirement]. I often have to cancel my golf
games on the weekends to go play in tennis tournaments.
— Richard Davies
Sooner or later I'm going to die, but I'm not going to retire.
— Margaret Mead
Retirement Poem
May the sun shine all day long,
everything go right and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!
— Irish Blessing
Retirement Sayings for Retirement Speeches
One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problems of retirement.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes
In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.
— Mason Cooley
We have no porch, no rocking chair — and no time. My biggest need
is a calendar because there are so many things to do. Now I encourage people to retire — the younger the better.
— Maurice Musholt
Retired Happy, Wild, and Free The Book That Gets You There
Retirement Poem
O, blest retirement! friend to life's decline —
How blest is he who crowns, in shades like these,
A youth of labor with an age of ease!
— Goldsmith.
Retirement Quotes
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
— George Bernard Shaw
Retirement requires the invention of a new hedonism, not a return
to the hedonism of youth
— Mason Cooley
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one
left.
— George F. Burns
Retirement Sayings
Sixty-five is the age when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job.
— Unknown wise person
Before deciding to retire from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Jobs
Truth be known, you can retire today and work a few hours a day when you want to, live anywhere in the world you choose, and earn a six-figure annual income.
— Find out how at: Retirement Jobs at The Real Success Resource Center
Retirement Planning Made Easy
Another Letter from a Reader about
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
This short letter about comes from Mavis Marko in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.
Dear Ernie.
I enjoyed your book "How to "Retire Happy, Wild, and Free." It sure is "Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor." I am going to give it to her to read next.
I can't wait for another book by you.
Have a great fall and winter.
Thanks,
Mavis
Retirement Quote
Age [and retirement] appear to be best in four things — old wood best
to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors
to read.
— Francis Bacon
Retirement Sayings
RETIREMENT: The time in your life when time is no longer money.
— Unknown person in retirement
Welfare is not a retirement plan.
— Unknown retiree
Retirement Quote
There are so many other interesting ways to spend your time. I feel
like early retirement is a gift, but it's such an incredible gift.
It's a gift I need to use.
— Martha Felt-Bardon
“The radical invents the views. When he has worn them
out, the conservative adopts them.”
— Mark Twain
ell, bored at work
Retirement Planning Made Easy
With Retirement Gift #2
The Joy of Not Working
Purchase The Joy of Not Working
As Seen in USA TODAY
Top 10 Reasons to Buy
The Joy of Not Working
1. You are more independent and more creative than most people.
2. You were born a lover of life and not a workaholic.
3. You don't want the cheese; you just want to get out of the trap.
4. You like books that are reader friendly with lots of cartoons, quotations, and exercises.
5. You like books that make you smile and challenge traditional ways of living and thinking.
6. You agree with the words of Bertrand Russell: "To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the best product of civilization."
7. You are receptive to the concept that we can achieve more if we relax, enjoy life more, forget about what the majority in society thinks is important, and focus on the things that really matter.
8. Your parents and co-workers will not approve of your adopting this book as your lifestyle Bible.
9. You know a good deal when you see one — if a book has been published in 17 languages in 21 different countries and has sold over 300,000 copies, it must have great value.
10. You know something important that the hard workers of this world don't know: The secret to a happy and fulfilling life is to work smart and not hard — just like Ernie Zelinski does!
Purchase The Joy of Not Working
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The Latest Letter from a Reader about
The Joy of Not Working
This letter was written to me in March 2007 by Ayumi Nakabayashi
in Osaka, Japan:.
Dear Ernie.
I have just read you The Joy of Not Working and I'm writing to thank you.
I'm a single working mother with twin daughters. What this means is I'm a poor miserable woman in Japanese society, so I am always worried about money for the future more than necessary and never enjoying my present life.
This book gave me a different view of my life, which I should pay
attention to. I don't earn much money but enough to live, and have
free time to enjoy. I feel excited about thinking how to spend my
free time now. I'm making an "Idea Tree" [Get-a-Life Tree] after writing this letter. To read The Joy of Not Working in English is on the top of the list! I have forgotten that I have a lot of things I want to do.
This book gave me a chance to think over the relationship with boring
people, too.
I'm sorry I don't have enough words to explain how I feel now in English, but I really appreciate you.
Sincerely,
Ayumi Nakabayashi
Retirement Joke
A retired man went to a doctor for a general check-up. The doctor told the retiree that everything was fine and that, in fact, he was "in real good shape for a man of 93.”
"That's good to know because I'm getting married in two weeks," said the retiree.
"Getting married! That's wonderful! Who's the lucky bride?" asked the doctor.
The retiree replied, "She's a 27-year-old bar maid I met at the local pub."
"Only 27!" The doctor paused before he advised, "Then you will need some Viagra."
The man replied, "No way, I never take drugs of any type. It's against my principles."
The doctor took some more time before he responded with: "You are in good shape, but nevertheless you are 93. May I suggest that you and your wife take in a boarder?"
"Why a boarder?" asked the retiree.
"Well, you know, at your age," winked the doctor, "you may not be able to do all the things a young woman would like a husband to do around the house. A boarder will be able to help."
The retiree shrugged and said, "I guess you are right," as he walked out of the office.
A year later, the retiree, now 94, came back to the doctor for another checkup. "How's married life?" asked the doctor.
"Amazing, it couldn't be better. I should have remarried years ago."
"How's your wife?" asked the doctor.
"She's doing fine," announced the retiree, "and she's pregnant."
"Pregnant!" exclaimed the doctor. "I take it that you took in a boarder who has fit in quite well?"
"'Yes, and she's pregnant too," grinned the retiree.
Irish Retirement Blessing
May you always have work
for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold
always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright
on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain
to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend
always be near you.
And may God fill your heart
with gladness to cheer you.
For More Retirement Sentiments Check Out:
Retirement Wishes on The Retirement Cafe
Retirement Quotes for Retirement Speeches
The Republican Party is a friend of Social Security the way Colonel
Sanders was a friend of chickens.
— Charles T. Manatt
Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. It means choice.
— Dianne Nahirny
Retirement Sayings
When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to tell the difference.
— Unknown wise person
When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes
The way retirement is shaping up, how will one know for sure when
he or she has retired?
— Robin Fowler
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
— Vince Lombardi
Retirement Sayings
Sex is Number 1 of my Top 10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I forgot the other 8.
— from Graffiti for the Enlightened Soul
I'm retired — I'm not dead!
— Unknown Wise Person
Retirement Quotes
The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.
— George Foreman
Yes, I am thoroughly enjoying retirement! The best part is observing
my neighbors drive off to work in the morning knowing that that their
day will be filled with jerks, brainless and endless meetings, jerks,
vendor lunches where you hold your breath just waiting for the sales
pitch until you regurgitate your pasta, more jerks and the eventual
company reorganization of the section that was just reorganized last
month!
— Bill Kalmar
Read The Absolutely, Positively Best Things
Anybody Ever Said about Retirement in:
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
What the Media Is Saying about
The World's Best Retirement Book
“To be sure, retirement books are a glutted field, but most focus on money and financial planning. They view the finish line as the last day of employment. That’s where Zelinski’s [How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free] begins.”
— Jonathan Chevreau, retirement columnist with the National Post
Retirement Quotes
I have now the gloomy prospect of retiring from office loaded with
serious debts, which will materially affect the tranquility of my
retirement.
— Thomas Jefferson
There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.
— Muhammad Ali (on the occasion of one of his retirements)
More Retirement Sayings
The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.
— Unknown wise person
The key to a happy retirement is to have enough money to live on, but not enough to worry about.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes
I am a free man. I feel as light as a feather.
— Javier Pérez de Cuéllar (b. 1920), Peruvian diplomat, Secretary-General of U.N.
The student who secures his coveted leisure and retirement by systematically
shirking any labor necessary to man obtains but an ignoble and unprofitable
leisure, defrauding himself of the experience which alone can make
leisure fruitful.
— Henry David Thoreau
For More Great Quotations
Select the Category Below
Retirement Poems on The Retirement Quotes Cafe
Success Quotes on The Real Success Resource Center
Retirement Quotes
Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part
of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves
have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before
you knew it — and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape?
That's retirement.
— Stephen Leacock
The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work, stretch out in the sun, and scratch himself.
— H. L. Mencken
Purchase the World's Second Best Retirement Book by Ernie J. Zelinski at:
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fine bookstores throughout the universe, and directly from:
Still More Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
Retirement Quotes
No longer having to punch a time clock is my definition of retirement. That way I could do what I want — when I want — anytime I want.
— Brooky Brown
I don't even think about a retirement program because I'm working
for the Lord, for the Almighty. And even thought the Lord's pay isn't
very high, his retirement program is, you might say, out of this world.
— George Foreman
Retirement Saying
There are a lot of books telling you how to manage when you retire. What most people want is one that’ll tell them how to manage in the meantime.
— Unknown wise person
Retired Happy, Wild, and Free The Book That Gets You There
Retirement Quotes for Retirement Speeches
The way I see it, you will have attained true freedom in this world
when you can get up in the morning when you want to get up; go to
sleep when you want to go to sleep; and in the interval, work and
play at the things you want to work and play — all at your own pace.
The great news is that retirement allows you the opportunity to attain
this freedom.
— from the book How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.
— Peter F. Drucker
Retirement Saying for a Retirement Speeches
I'm retired — goodbye tension, hello pension!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes
Most people perform essentially meaningless work. When they retire
that truth is borne upon them.
— Brendan Francis
Lord Tyrawley and I have been dead these two years, but we don't choose to have it known.
— Lord Chesterfield
The World’s Two Best Retirement Gifts
Over 310,000 Copies Sold Over 400,000 Copies Sold
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Retirement Quotes
Eating's going to be a whole new ball game. I may even have to buy a new pair of trousers.
— Lester Piggott (b. 1935), British champion jockey. On his retirement.
Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people.
— Maggie Kuhn (1905-1995), U.S. civil rights activist
There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it "retirement." I call it bliss.
— Betty Sullivan
Retirement Sayings
Forget how old you are — this gets more important the older you get.
— from How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
Enjoy every retirement day as if it was your last and one day you will be right about it.
— Unknown wise person
For More Great Retirement Fun
Select the Category Below
Retirement Quotes on How to Retire Happy Website
Funny Retirement Quotes on The Joy of Being Retired
Retirement Speeches on The Retirement Cafe Website
Humorous Retirement Quotes
I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.
— Voltaire (in retirement)
Retirement Quote
The great thing about show business is that there's no mandatory retirement age.
— Scott Bakula
Retirement Quote
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
— R.C. Sherriff
Retirement Quote
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
— Chi Chi Rodriguez
Retirement Quote
Am I retired already? It's possible. I'm having way too much fun for
this [job] to be work.
— Robin Fowler
Retirement Quote
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
— Ella Harris
Retirement Quote
I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week.
— Vince McMahon
Retirement Quote
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.
— Gail Sheehy
Retirement Quote
I pant for retirement and leisure, but am doomed to inexpressible and almost unsupportable hurry.
— Sarah Siddons
Retirement Quote
Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
— Gene Perret
Retirement Quote
The gradually declining years are among the sweetest in a man's life.
— Seneca
Retirement Quote
To retire is the beginning of death.
— Pablo Casals
Retirement Quote
As to that leisure evening of life, I must say that I do not want it. I can conceive of no contentment of which toil is not to be the immediate parent.
— Anthony Trollope
Retirement Quote
In this country . . . men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire.
— Charles Francis Adams, Sr.
Retirement Joke
Three sons left home early in life, went out on their own, and all three prospered in their own ways. Getting
together one day, they discussed the gifts they recently gave to their
elderly retired mother.
The first boasted, "I bought mom a Mercedes limousine and even hired a chauffeur since she can't drive. The limo alone cost over $150,000."
The second replied, "I had a big mansion built for mom. It's worth well over $500,000."
The third smiled and wryly proclaimed, "I've got you both beat. Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? Of course you know she can't see very well. I sent her an awesome parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders at a church over fifteen years to train him. He's one of a kind in this world. All mom has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it. I paid more for the parrot than what the two of you spent on the house and limousine."
Not long after, the elderly mother sent out her letters of thanks, with a particular mention of how much she liked each the gifts.
"Jim," she wrote to the first son, "I am too old to travel. I stay home most
of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes. The driver does nothing most of the day. Besides, he is a bit rude!"
"Todd," she wrote to the second, "the house you had built for me is so huge. I live in only one room. It takes me a whole day to clean the whole house."
"Dearest Eric," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense
to know what your mother truly likes. Although a bit more work in preparing it than I am used to, the chicken was delicious."
Retirement Quotes
Retirement is a time to make the inner journey and come face to face with your flaws, failures, prejudices, and all the factors that generate thoughts of unhappiness. Retirement is not a time to sleep, but a time to awaken to the beauty of the world around you and the joy that comes when you cast out all the negative elements that cause confusion and turmoil in your mind and allow serenity to prevail.
— Howard Salzman
I think it [retirement] beats the heck out of life after death, that's for sure.
— Martina Navratilova
Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.
— Harry Emerson Fosdick
Retirement Sayings
The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the best work I was best suited for was retirement.
— Unknown wise person
I like retirement life. It's something to do when no one wants you to work anymore.
— Unknown Wise Person
Retirement Quotes
Preparation for old age should begin not later than one's teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.
— Arthur E. Morgan
Retire from work, but not from life.
— M. K. Soni
Financial Retirement Quotes for Retirement Speeches
The thing to do is to make so much money that you don't have to work
after the age of twenty-seven. In case this is impractical, stop working
at the earliest moment, even if it is a quarter past eleven in the
morning of the day when you find you have enough money.
— Robert Benchley
You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.
— Tennessee Williams
Retirement Quotes by Famous People for Retirement Speeches
Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.
— Ernest Hemingway
Musicians don't retire; they stop when there's no more music in them.
— Louis Armstrong
Read the Absolutely, Positively Most Helpful Advice Ever Given about Retirement in:
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free:
Retirement Wisdom You Won't Get
from Your Financial Advisor
|
The World's Best
Retirement Book
by Ernie J. Zelinski
Purchase at:
www.amazon.com,
and fine bookstores throughout the universe
|
F R E E E - B O O K !
A $9.97 Value
The 437 Best Things Ever Said
about RETIREMENT
120 Pages of Retirement Quotes
and Retirement Sayings
Placed in Over 60 Categories
Right Click the Link Below and Select "Save Target As ..." to:
Download the Free E-Book
The 437 Best Things Ever Said about Retirement
More Retirement Quotes by Famous People
for Retirement Speeches
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit . . . . retire!
— Groucho Marx
As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement
is planning.
— Earl Nightingale
Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
More Definitions of Retirement
Retirement: When you have given so much of yourself to the Company that you don't have anything left that the company can use.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement to me does not mean nothing to do but the realization of
the decisions I made in the past. That I made in my life.
— Jack Bowman
More Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
for General Enjoyment and for Retirement
Speeches Added Regularly
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